Kris Romeril

Moving Day

2010-10-15T12:51:00.000-06:00

For anyone who checks this blog I need to inform you that I have moved my blog to the following address:
http://kromeril.wordpress.com/
I like Blogger but it seems like Wordpress works better with other social media.

Beautiful Fall and Ugly Roadkill

2010-09-20T17:37:00.001-06:00

As I'm preparing for the St. George Marathon I have to start tapering which means that on my non-running days I try to go biking. Last week on one of those days, I decided to head up Butterfield Canyon again. As I started heading up the mountain I noticed quite a bit of roadkill. There was actually quite a variety as well. I thought that maybe I should take a picture of some,but decided that Emily would give me an earful for that...so I'll just describe it and you can use your imagination.
About a half mile up the canyon I saw something in the road that seemed quite large. At first I thought it was a cat, but it ended up being a raccoon. It was just laying there in the middle of the road and I imagine it was hit by a car and not ran over because there really wasn't any carnage or insides strewn throughout. I thought, "that black line across their face is pretty cool"...than I had to swerve out of the way of a truck flying down the mountain. At that point it crossed my mind that because it was later in the evening and the sun would be setting as I was going to be finishing, I should be extra cautious. The drivers going up the mountain would have the sun directly in their eyes and could not see me due to the glare and I didn't want to join the raccoon. The rest of the roadkill was carnage, with bits and pieces, swarms of flies and chunks of meat on the roadway. I saw a couple snakes that had been completely flattened. A couple squirrels, a field mouse, chipmunk and a bird. I was surprised at how much roadkill there was and wondered what happened to increase the carnage. I also had to note where the larger pieces of roadkill was so that on my return trip back down the mountain I wouldn't hit it at 40 mph. (Again, I didn't want to join the roadkill.)
I mentioned before how difficult this canyon climb is but I really wanted to get to the top because the Fall colors are starting to appear and I wanted to see what it was like up at the top. Down in the valleys we don't get all the fall colors, but the canyons are beautiful.

The picture gives you a good idea that Fall is right around the corner and that the road I'm heading up (and then down) isn't very wide. Is that another squirrel off to the left?

Giving Up On Being Vain

2010-09-04T11:26:00.000-06:00

When I post to my blog I try to provide pictures because let's be honest, most people I know can't read very well. Most of the time I try to just find some cool pictures that tie in with what I am writing about but when it comes to race recaps I try to pick out the pictures where I look really good. I had a number of pictures to sort through for the Utah Half, and I liked the ones where I was coming into the finish line with my hands held high.
There were four pictures of me at the finish and in three of them you could actually see some muscle definition in my arms. I thought, "Those three are pretty cool, I'll post one of those." That would have been fine if it looked like this...

The problem is...it actually looks like this...

Now, to give my head a little credit (and at least make me feel better) high def cameras fail to capture fine hair. But I'll be honest, I have been losing it for awhile. So, I asked Ben to help me embrace my balding and photoshop how I would look completely bald. He found a picture of John Travolta with his head shaved and place it on mine...

I decided I would partially embrace the look and took the number 2 extension to my dome...

Who knows, by the end of the weekend I may decide to go to the number 1 extension, then no extension and then pull out the Bic.

A Little Hail And A Lot Of Hell

2010-09-03T07:06:00.000-06:00

My official time for the 2010 Utah Half was 5:32:53. As you can see in the chart I landed between probable and worst case scenarios for my prediction. I shaded the boxes where my official time landed which means that the swim and run were both in the worst case column, but in retrospect the swim should have been probable and the run should be in a “even worser” case column.

PRE-RACE:
I was actually pretty calm coming into this race (see Overconfident). I didn’t consider it one of my “A” races so I wasn’t training incredibly hard for it. I have a marathon in five weeks so I have been half focused on that and half focused on this race.

I had to drive to Provo on Friday night for the packet pick-up. I was initially annoyed because I am guessing that more than half the participants live in the Salt Lake valley and Ogden areas and would greatly appreciate a packet pick-up in the Salt Lake area on maybe Thursday night at a local running store. That way we wouldn’t have to deal with the traffic in Utah County on the night before the race and we’ll have time to eat pizza, spaghetti or whatever pre-race meal we want. That being said the traffic heading down there wasn’t too bad but I left work at 3:00 to be there right when it opened at 4:00. While I was standing in line, I thought that it probably is better to just have the Provo packet pick-up, that way the vendors and sponsors can get their money's worth in one big shot. As I got my packet they notified us that the shirts weren't there yet but would be in about 5 minutes. I sat around for 45 minutes and finally the shirts came. I understand things happen so I can't fault race Tri too much for that.
I slept pretty well until about 3:00 in the morning and then finally got up at 4:00. I ate my peanut buttered bread, protein shake and jumped in the car. When I got to the lake I met up with Bret, set up my transition area and then headed to the start. I slid into the lake a few minutes early to warm up a little and then headed to where the start was last year. Then a bunch of us realized that the start was actually behind us by about 75 yards...so I warmed up some more.

THE SWIM:

The swim wasn't great but it wasn't terrible either. I started pretty good and then my goggles immediately started to fog up which concerned me a little because I had to rely on other people more than I would have liked as far as "are we going in the right direction." All the swimmers had bright orange swim caps on and we were headed to bright orange bouys. In my fogged goggles I couldn't tell the difference between bouys and swimmers. The first bouy was fairly close and then there was a long stretch to the second bouy. It felt like it took forever to get there (especially when you thought you were close and then realized bouys don't kick you in the face, athletes with orange swim caps do.) The second to third bouy was a short swim and then you had to head to the fourth, which you couldn't see because there was a peninsula in the way. The swim is shorter the closer you swim to the peninsula, but that also means you are closer to moss and whatever other nasty lake weeds are around. I found myself swimming through what at first seemed like nets...it freaked me out which is bizzare because I can swim through seaweed in the ocean without a problem, but lake paraphanelia gives me the creeps. I made it through and then to the fourth bouy...and then had to do the whole thing again.
On the second lap I started lapping the slower swimmers. there were a bunch who were swimming perpendicular to my line. I am positive I can swim a pretty straight line, but others are awful at it. They probably add on an extra hundred yards.
As I headed to the boat ramp for the exit I felt like I swam pretty good. I figured it was about 35 minutes. I wasn't too tired but I didn't feel strong. I arrived at the boat ramp for the fantastic exit up the ramp of scum. This year they had multiple volunteers at the water's edge who were assisting us up so that we wouldn't slide back into the lake. Disgusting.

TRANSITION 1:

I mentioned in a previous post that different events have their timing mats in different places. The Utah Half placed their T-1 mat right at the entrance to the bike racks with was about 200 yards from the waters edge...so my swim time also includes that jog. I also decided that I would take off my wetsuit during that run because there was a big grassy area. It is a lot easier to get the wesuit off there rather than in the cramped transition area. I was able to get my socks and shoes on fairly quickly but decided not to wear my Garmin watch because it would take longer to get it on and I have a bike computer that would give me my pace (this mistake will be discussed in the bike). I took off knowing that I was in the top 20 people to get out on the road.

BIKE:

I took off like crazy on the bike and was immediately riding 23-25 miles per hour, which is fairly fast for me on a flat road. The weather was mostly cooperating but I could see some clouds in the near distance. after about 5 miles I wondered what my heartrate was...oops, my Garmin 405 which keeps my mph also keeps my heartrate and it was sitting in transition. Oh well, I'm flying and feeling good. About 10 miles into the course I hit a head wind but it wasn't too bad until it started hailing and raining. Thankfully it only lasted for about a minute or so and then it stayed clear for the rest the race. I did pretty good with nutrition. I would eat a shot block every 20 minutes or so but I also knew I was pushing it way too hard. I'm guessing my heartrate was in the 150-165 region the entire time...which is far too high when you still have a half marathon to run. 22 miles into the bike you arrive at West Mountain and the winds had picked up. I had to deal with some strong head winds after the turn-around which dropped my speed into the low teens. I was tired for the rest of the ride but kept puching because i wanted to end with an average of 21 mph for the entire course. I made that goal and achivved my best bike time...but I would pay for it on the run.

TRANSITION 2:
This transition went smooth as well but I could tell I was tired. I changed shoes, grabbed my watch and took off.

RUN:
In the others events I have run I have never thought about walking until aroung mile 7. For this event it was almost immediate. I kept going but knew that I had pushed to hard on the bike and the walking was going to come sooner than later. I was sick of the shot blocks by this point so I didn't want anymore of those so I just relied on water, coke and watermelon at the aid stations. At about 3 miles into the run I decided I was going to walk through the transistion areas. I was able to gain some strength while doing this and made it through the first lap pretty well, but still off the pace I wanted. I figured I would quit looking at my watch and just focus on finishing this thing because I was worn out. At about mile 8.5 I started walking outside of the aid station areas and I was more shuffling than running when I wasn't walking. I then started thinking about how i could make the course shorter by cutting through a marsh, but knew that would take more effort. I struggled through the rest of the course and conserved enough energy to run whenever there was a camera person and at the finish.

THE FINISH:
Emily and the kids were able to see me at the finish which is always great. Their support means the world. I was able to see Roger and Bret finish which was cool.
In the end I was somewhat pleased with my time. It has taken some convincing because this course is a lot easier than the California 70.3 course...but I didn't train as hard and I was almost 10 pounds heavier. My bike was awesome but that also killed the run.
Again, right after the race I thought that there is no way I can do a full Ironman...but now, days later, I definately have to do it. So I need to save my money, pick a date and train like crazy.

Overconfident, But Under-Trained

2010-08-26T20:35:00.004-06:00

As I assess how I think I'll do in this weekends Half-Iron Distance triathlon, I have swung back and forth. About a month ago I suggested that I would end with a time of 5:50:00. Then I thought that I can't give under-training that much credit. So I had to break it down even more...and now I think "Wow, I am pretty screwed up." Here is my mind set along with my suggested best, probable and worst case scenarios.

First of all, as far as worst case scenarios go, we have to acknowledge that it could get a whole lot worse depending on weather, flat tires, crash and complete body meltdown. There is also a chance of changes to the course, such as last years asterisk. So my time estimates assume that nothing will go terribly wrong.

The Swim: I thought initially that I would be awful on the swim because I have only swam a handful of times over the last 5 months, but when I have, it has gone swimmingly. I have felt strong for the most part until the end which leads me to believe that the latter parts of the tri could get ugly, but I'm confident I can do well. I won't do as well as California 70.3 (30:20), but 32 minutes doesn't seem unreasonable if I push it hard. I always wonder too if the swim distances are accurate. You will always hear people say that the swim felt short (or long). I don't hear that as much about the bike and run, so it must be more difficult to measure distance while in a kayak, or however they measure it.

T1: I plan on doing really well in the transitions. But again it is difficult to compare transitions with other races because you never know where the timing mats are laid out. In Oceanside it was as you exited the water and then you had to run a quarter mile through the transition area. Last year in Utah it took me 3:18......great, as I am typing this out I think there is no way I can get 2 minutes. But last year I was in the 68 percentile. If I get a top 15% maybe it would be 2 minutes. I'll stick with it. Also, I plan on putting my gloves on while riding the bike which should cut transition time, but increase the probability of crashing spectacularly.

Bike: This is the great unknown which is why there is a huge time difference between best and worst. After last weekend's scaling of Buuetrfield I tend to think I m going to kill it. But then I consider I haven't done half the training as I did for Oceanside and I'm typically lucky to average 20 mph...but there is climbing when I train and the Utah Half course is flat...but it will probably be really windy...but that means head-wind, cross-wind and tail-wind. I don't know what to think...Therefore, if I am over 3 hours I'll be disappointed. I'll feel great with a 2:50 and ecstatic with anything around 2:40.

T2: Transition 2 is where I expect to do a lot better than last year because I don't plan on changing shorts. Last year I took off my cycling shorts and put on my running shorts because I didn't want to run a half marathon with a thick chamois (pronounced shammy for the uneducated-I had to look it up). The chamois is the crotch pad in the cycling shorts that gives some extra padding. While nice when on the bike...it's not so nice while running. I wont need to change shorts this year because I bought some triathlon shorts. the difference between cycling shorts and tri-shorts is the thickness of the chamois. So this year it will only be a shoe change---of course I am now rethinking this no change of shorts. Let me explain. This evening I wore my tri-shorts for the first time and wow...First of all the padding is really thin and although I only rode for about 45 minutes, my rear is hurting. A thicker pad may be worth the lost time. And Second, I bought the tri-shorts 6 months ago when I was almost 10 pounds lighter...I need a shoe-horn just to get them on. It will be quite embarrassing to here people on Saturday yelling, "Keep pushing it muffin-top," or "You're almost to the fini...aaahhhh, my eyes," or "Kids, look away...it's hideous."

Run: I feel really confident about the run. My goal is to be under a 9:00 pace. In Oceanside I averaged 9:08 and was in much better shape - this is the definition of overconfident. I am looking forward to see what happens. Mentally I fell great and that could mean more than the lack of training...or it could lead to complete meltdown and destroy my aspirations of a good St. George Marathon time in a month or so.

I'll be racing with 2 of my colleagues. When all is said and done, as long as they don't beat me, it shall be a success. (Sorry Roger and Bret.)

The Utah Half * - Again?

2010-08-25T17:53:00.000-06:00

What are the chances that there will be another asterisk attached to the Utah Half this year. Last year there were major thunderstorms that rolled in on the morning of the race and look what is predicted for this year...

Last year the wind was blowing so hard they couldn't secure the swim buoys so they cut the swim distance in half. My colleagues are sure to point that out every time I mention that I have done 2 Half-Iron distances. Every time I hear a mutter of "with an asterisk" or "one-point-five." With the wind in the forecast it could be déjà vu all over again, not to mention how hard the bike is with the wind blowing like that.

I was reading a post from a triathlon forum and another person summed up their expectations for this weekends race and it matches perfectly how I feel. "Under-trained and Overconfident." I don't think it's a good place to be but I have been feeling great lately even though I am not even near the shape I was in for California 70.3. I'm 7 pounds heavier and haven't biked or swam nearly as much.

It should be a blast!

Becoming Kind of a Big Deal

2010-08-21T09:56:00.003-06:00

I will acknowledge up front that I will never be kind of a big deal but I am certainly excited that I made it to the top of Butterfield Canyon this morning. My cycling skills aren't the greatest, especially because I never have that much time to train. I can run all I want because it's easy to throw on running shoes and go outside or get on the treadmill but cycling takes a little more planning and I can't ride 30 miles in my basement (my trainer is broken).

Anyways, from my house to the top of Butterfield Canyon is just over 14 miles and about 3,500 feet of climbing. It is all up hill with a false flat (the road looks flat but it is uphill) for the first 6, then a mile 7% grade climb. After that you enter the actual canyon where it varies from 5-13% for about 3 miles and then it jumps into the 15-20% range. For me, that is very difficult and I have tried a number of times to do this and have failed, mostly miserably. The most difficult part is mile 3-5 once in the canyon. Last summer I made it past that part but was so wiped out that I got off the bike and started walking and still didn't make it up to the top. This year, up until this morning, I haven't been able to get past the most difficult stretch.

Part of the difficult climb

Well, today I nailed it. I rode a little more conservative at the start and just kept going. I even passed another cyclist and ended up pulling him to the top. Maybe it's my awesome pumpkin jersey, but it's probably my bike.

Now it is time to recuperate for my Half Ironman distance Tri (the Utah Half) which is this coming Saturday. I wonder how I'll do compared to last year. I know I wont do as well as the California 70.3.

Tour de Donut Recap

2010-07-19T17:10:00.012-06:00

I raced the Tour de Donut bike race on Saturday. It was my first bike race (excluding triathlons) and it isn't technically a race, it's more of a fun ride. But there are plenty of people who take it completely serious, as was I. (see here)
Well, I arrived at the event with plenty of time to spare, in fact there were only a few other cars in the parkling lot. I went and got my bib number, a very cool participant tech-T and other stuff. Then I sat in my car and played Angry Birds for an hour, which was nice because they just came out with a new update.
Finally it was time to get ready. I figured since I wanted to compete for a good finish I would start right at the front. This would not only allow me to stay with the lead pack but also keep me out of trouble with the hundreds of other cyclists at the start line. Five minutes before the start I had plenty of room...Five seconds before the start, my room had decreaased. I am in the bright orange jersey on the left of the picture.

Thanks to http://www.picturememine.com/ for the photo.

I had my right foot clipped into my pedal and started to roll down the street but the guy in front of me cut hard and his back wheel went right into my front wheel. I knew I was going down and there was nothing I could do because my foot was clipped in. UNBELIEVABLE...I crashed in the first 5 feet. Gratefully I wasn't going fast...

Not so greatful that my moment was captured by a camera...

And a close up...That is me sideways on the ground, I am supposed to be upright like everyone else.

Again...thanks alot http://www.picturememine.com/

I was finally able to get up as 5 year-olds on tricycles were flying past. With a bruised ego and bloody knee I pushed forward intent on catching up with the leaders. I was pushing hard dodging other cyclists and numerous potholes. I felt great and was finally able to see who I believe was the lead peleton. I knew that once i caught up I could catch my breath and draft off them. They were only about 10 yards in front as I rounded a corner content that I could finally relax and sit on their wheels for the rest of the 7-mile loop. And then...pffffffffffffsssssss. (That is the sound of air escaping and my tire going flat.) All that work for nothing. I pulled off and spent the next 6 minutes changing my tire. There were plenty of people who asked if I needed help or if I had everything to take care of the flat. I did, and eventually I was back on the road. I headed into the first donut eating staging area. As a recap, for each donut I ate, it would take 3 minutes off my total time. I ate my first 4 donuts pretty quick with a strategy of giant bite and small swig of water. While on the fifth donut I kept wanting to get back out on the course to see if I could catch up with some of the leaders, so I ate 5 and took off with every intent to eat a ton more on the next pit stop.
The second lap was better because I didn't crash or get a flat but i couldn't tell who was on their first lap or second, and I know I didn't catch up to the leaders. I pulled into the second donut eating stage, took one bite of donut 6 and felt absolutely sick. I struggled with it and gave in with a total of 6 donuts...I don't know how people could eat that much more. The winner ended up eating 25.
I left and finished my third lap with a Tour de France winner pose...no hands with arms stretched wide.

In the end I was 9th place in the 35 and older division which isn't bad considereing my problems. Next year I am gunning for a top 3. And I only partially threw up on the car ride home.
Note to self: Lots of donuts with water makes you need to burp, but be cautious because those burps are loaded with wet donut chunks.

Tour de Donut = Pukefest = Awesome

2010-07-13T08:11:00.002-06:00

This is going to be awesome. It is a 21-mile bike race which consists of three 7-mile loops. In between the loops we will have 2 opportunities to stuff as many donuts into our mouths as possible. For each donut we eat, it drops 3 minutes off our total time. They say the winner typically has a negative time...so for me to win I need to have a total adjusted time of at least 0:00.

So...let's assume that I average 20 mph (which is probably a little ambitious with the amount of donuts that will be in my gut). My Bike time will be 1:03:00. I will then need to eat the right amount of donuts to not only cancel out that time, but also the time it takes to eat said donuts. So eating 21 donuts at 20 seconds per donut would cancel out the 1:03:00 but add 7 minutes for donut eating time...so i would need to eat 3 more donuts to cancel out donut eating time which would then put me in the negative time range. That was probably hard to follow...so...

So my calculations are as follows:

Key
Blue = positive time

Red = negative time

1:03:00 - Bike Time

1:03:00 - time taken off for eating 21 donuts

_______________________________

0:00:00 - adjusted time...but wait

0:07:00 - Time it takes to eat 21 donuts at 20 seconds per donut

0:09:00 - time taken off for eating 3 donuts

_______________________________

0:02:00 - Adjusted time...but wait

0:01:00 - Time it takes to eat 3 donutes at 20 seconds per donut

_______________________________

0:01:00 - Total Adjusted Time

So I have to eat 24 donuts according to this plan. What strategy do I take? Do I eat 12 donuts at each donut eating opportunity, or do I eat as much as possible during the first stop risking a slower bike time due to me having to stop and puke? I'll have to take more time pondering this while munching on a maple bar.

Ogden Marathon 2010

2010-05-17T21:05:00.003-06:00

I ran a personal best on Saturday with a finishing time of 3:41:54, a personal best by 57 seconds. Regardless of it being my personal best, it was my most complete marathon I have ever run because I was consistent across the board and never walked...which is a first.

This was a big accomplishment for me because as I stated in a previous post, I have been in a major funk since the California Ironman 70.3. In march when I did that triathlon I was in the best shape of my life by far. My trend weight was 163 and I even had a daily weigh in under 160. Now I am nearly 10 pounds heavier in less than 2 months...but hey, 1.5 years ago I almost hit 200.

Anyways, without a lot of training over the past couple months I still had to run the marathon because I paid for it and it has been my favorite course. Emily drove me to the bus area at 4:30 in the morning and I met my friend Ben. We loaded up on the bus which took us to the start area. We spent the 1:15 before the race started standing in lines for the bathrooms and crowding next to the bonfires to stay warm. We then lined up for the start and took off. Ben was gone and I knew I wouldn't see him again because he was going for a Boston qualifying time, which would be more than a half-hour faster than I can run.

The first mile I clocked at a 7:30/mile pace which I knew was to quick so I slowed up. My ultimate goal was to finish under 4 hours which would be a 9:09 pace. I then started getting passed by just about everyone but I was able to stay at a 8:10-8:20 pace for the next 7 miles. The first section is down the first canyon with a river flowing right next to the road and tons of campsites with the smell of campfires burning. It is a beautiful course. The next section goes around Pineview Reservoir.

This is the ugly part of the course, which says how awesome the course is because the ugly part is running around a lake surrounded by snow-capped mountains. This part is flat and also has some uphill. My pace was steady here at around a 8:30 pace. Again, it was very consistent.

The next part is down Ogden Canyon which is beautiful as well. You are running next to another river with steep canyon walls. I was able to drop my pace to around a 8:20 and even clocked a 8:05. Some parts of this section has a steep downhill which really hurts after 18 miles of running. I thought "18 down, 8 to go...aw, what the crap am I doing." I have always had a moment like this during all my long distance races but I was easily able to overcome those thoughts today. I just kept kicking one foot in front of the other. I stayed on top of my nutrition pretty well and the adoption of an Ibuprofin strategy has worked well my last 2 races.

At the bottom of the canyon you have a 5K to go. I thought that this could be my first race where I never walked. Last year I was about 4 minutes ahead of this years pace but I walked 3-4 times through water stops. This year I pressed forward. It was hard but I averaged about an 8:50 pace and in the end only had one mile where it took me more than 9 minutes (9:05). The last 5K is critical. I ended up 63rd place in my age group (top third) but I had the 6th fastest last 5K time.

The Marathon was testing a new system where they would send a text to your loved one when you had 5K to go. Emily and the kids were waiting for the text, but the system didn't work so I surprised them when they were sitting in the park waiting. Emily felt bad because she didn't get to see me finish. It was the first time she has missed that, but I appreciate her and the kids so much for being there anyways, and also for allowing me to spend time training.

So now I am re-energized. I looked at my first marathon time and now, 6 marathons later, I am almost one-hour faster. I am signed up for St. George and am looking to make it more than an hour in October. I am looking forward to training for the Utah Half (another 1/2 Ironman triathlon distance). The triathlon training may dampen my St. George time but it could help as well...and then at the end of the season, I will try to sign up for my IRONMAN...2.4 mile swim / 112 mile Bike / 26.2 mile run.

26.2 x 6

2010-05-14T14:26:00.002-06:00

My 6th marathon will be tomorrow morning and I feel more unprepared than any other marathon I have ever run. It is mostly due to the major funk I have been since the California 70.3. I have seen the anti-depression med commercials on TV and have been thinking that I need some of that. I have been lucky to train more than twice a week lately due to just not feeling all that great. To help cure my depression I have started to watch some more Tri videos which is helping and hopefully next week I can dive back into heavy training for the Utah Half. But that brings me back to tomorrow's marathon. The furthest I have run is 13 miles and although i would like to do well i have to make sure that i don't injure myself. It could get ugly but I need to just be smart. I would be happy with a sub 4-hour finish but we'll have to wait and see.

California IM Video

2010-03-31T21:06:00.000-06:00

Here is a video of my California 1/2. It's not the greatest video but you'll certainly get a feel for what it was like.

I am 1/2 Ironman

2010-03-28T20:23:00.033-06:00

The Finishers Medal

Wow...A brief summary of my experience is, I am ecstatic with the whole experience.

The not so brief summary:

Pre-Race:
The drive down to California was pretty uneventful although I was concerned the entire time about my bike flying off the rack on top of my car.

Friday:
We arrived at the Oceanside community center where they had the check in area for all the Ironman athletes. I jumped in line and slowly moved into the building. Once I got in they directed the athletes to a table according to their number. Why in the world does it always seem that I end up in the longest line. There were 20 people in the line for athletes with the numbers from 800-1200. I was number 942 so I waited while all the other tables had no one in them. They gave me a bunch of papers that I had to sign that pretty much said if I died or was eaten by a shark, I had no recourse. I happily signed my name, content with the fact that death would definitely be a possibility. I was lucky enough that a bike didn't fly off my car while driving down here, I figured I would be lucky enough to make it through 70.3 alive...not well, but alive.
They sent us from table to table where we would pick up our wristband, so they can identify corpses floating in the ocean or alongside the roads, t-shirt and and race packet. After that we headed to go watch a video. After 5 minutes I thought, "this is a waste of my time" so I left without watching the whole thing. Thankfully I didn't miss anything important. I headed back outside to meet my family who were slightly annoyed that it took so long. We headed to the Ironman tent area where they had things for sale. If I had lots of money I could have bought a lot, but in the end I walked away with only spending $10 on 2 water bottles and I plan on giving those away, but I may not be so generous when I see those people later.

Smiling after chowing down on the
Ultimate Meat Lovers Pizza

That night the family met up with my sister and her family and we went to eat pizza. For some reason I have found that pizza is a great pre-race meal for me. Since I had pepperoni pizza the night before (Thursday) I decided that on Friday night I would add canadian bacon and breakfast bacon to my pizza pie. My boy calls it the ultimate Meat Lovers pizza; anything with breakfast bacon is "ultimate" for him.

When I got home from dinner I headed for the bathtub where I proceeded to shave my legs. (They look really good. At some point when I am out running on the road and am wearing a hat, so that no one can see my receding hairline, some guy may think I am a hot chick with such fine legs).

Raceday:
I slept really well until about 2:30 in the morning when some doofus rode by our beach house on his skateboard. I thought that since I went to bed at 9:30 I already had 5 hours of sleep and I could get maybe a couple more...I was wrong. I finally had enough and got out of bed at about 4:30 and went to eat breakfast. I went with my usual pre-race breakfast of a protein shake and english muffins with peanut butter. Emily got up as well and started getting ready for the day. I went over my checklist one more time, checked my tire pressure and was ready to head out.

My Bike - Thanks Clark for loaning it to me

I jumped on my bike and Emily got on hers and we headed out for the 2 mile bike to the start area. We owned the road because there were no other cars out at this time in the morning. As we got closer more and more athletes joined us on the road. Emily had to veer off as we approached the staging area and I headed in. With over 2000 athletes the staging area was quite lengthy. I found my rack and then headed to the body marking area. they magic markered (do you like that verb creation?) my arm and leg and then I headed to the porta-pottys. After 30 minutes in line I was relieved to finally go set up my transition stuff.

Emily finally found me, although she had to stay behind 3 guard rails to keep spectators away from the athletes, and more importantly, from the athletes valuables. The Star Spangled Banner was being sung so it was time to get in line for my wave. My wave had the light blue swim caps. The pros were silver and headed out at 6:40. They are pretty fast. We slowly moved closer and closer. I think my wave was #9.

When the wave ahead of us headed out to the starting buoys we headed to the waters edge and the pros rounded the corner as they were finishing the swim. It took them right around 20 minutes. The horn sounded for the wave ahead of us which meant it was time to head out to the start. I waved to Emily and jumped into the water for about a 100 yard swim to the start. I had about 2 minutes to tread water before the horn sounded. Finally they gave the 15 second countdown...the horn...and it was go time.

THE SWIM:

I tried to start easy and then found my rhythm pretty quickly when the swimmers spread out a little. I was able to spot a buoy ahead of me and then just swim for it but I also relied on other swimmers as well, hopping they were heading in the right direction. Eventually I made the turn but I wasn't quite sure, especially because I was a little surprised how quick it seemed I had got there. I just kept swimming and felt really good. The water temp was good although there were plenty of people complaining that it was too cold. Heading back I started swimming into previous waves. I started passing purple caps and yellow caps. I was OK except that every once in a while I would get boxed in between some slower swimmers.

This is me with my face getting
out of the water afterI slipped

As you swim back and head back into the harbor you can see spectators along side the rocks. This is easily done if you breathe on the right side. This was a hint that I was getting closer, especially as more and more fans appeared. I then swam by a bait shop that I noticed when using the bathroom before the race and I knew that I was only the length of transition to the start, so probably a couple hundred yards. I rounded the final turn and spotted the exit. I went straight for it and swam til my hands could touch the boat ramp. They had helpers would would grab your arms and shoulders to help you stand up and even pull the zipper down on your wetsuit...but I stood up by myself just fine and then a helper tried grabbing my arm to assist and that is when I slipped. (That's me with my face getting out of the water in the picture on the right.) No big deal, I jumped back up and headed to transition 1.

On my way to go get my bike

TRANSITION 1:
I was surprised how long it seemed to run all around the staging area. It was carpeted the whole way but it seemed like forever. We ran through a chute to the back of the area, by the bait shop, and then headed into transition. My spot was halfway in so I kept running, found my spot and started to strip my wetsuit off. I wore my jersey and shorts underneath my wetsuit so I didn't have to worry about putting that on. I put my socks and shoes on, then my helmet. All I had left were my gloves and for some reason I couldn't figure it out. My left pinky wouldn't go where it was supposed to. I swallowed one Motrin tablet (200 strength-so not a lot), grabbed my bike and took off. I ran to the mount area clipped in and was starting my 56 mile journey.

BIKE:
The bike stared off pretty good. There was a small hill right at the start where I had to shift to my lower gear but it was all good. A couple miles in I realized I forgot to put my glasses on in transition. At least I wouldn't be able to see the mountains I had to climb until I reached them. The first 30 miles or so was mostly flat. Every once in a while there were some rolling hills where my speed would drop below 20 mph but I was consistently in the 24 mph area. I felt good in the aero bars and I was passing plenty of people, but with the wave start it should be expected. There were also plenty of people passing me as well, especially the guys with the disc wheels which make that cool sound. There wasn't any wind that I could tell and I was cruising. My heart rate was in the 160s for awhile which was a little high but it slowly crept downward into the 150s. At one point we had to head up a small hill that was part of a trail system (for runners, not bikes). This was a single file, no passing zone so you could only go as fast as the person in front of you. There was a guy about 4 bikes ahead who was really slow so eventually a group of us decided to go ahead and move past him. I guess this admission could get me in trouble or disqualified but if I went any slower I would have had to stop and walk. There was also a flat area where I was going pretty well and a physically challenged athlete (I think that is the PC term) came cruising past me. It was impressive.

Finally after heading up the coast we turned inland toward Camp Pendelton (which will be referred to as the base from here on out.) It was a false flat for quite awhile as we kept heading inland. We officially entered the base and I was wondering where these hill climbs were that people were talking about. I finally saw the first hill. "You gotta be kidding me...this is going to suck!" As I approached I kept reminding myself that I had done the work and training, it'll be difficult but I can get over it. For those familiar with south mountain from the Lehi side, this hill climb reminded me of that...but 35 miles into the race made it very sucky. One guy was off his bike walking and carrying his bike up the hill. There had to have been a mechanical problem because I can't imagine why he would have been carrying his bike...bu the hill was steep and long. Everyone was struggling up. I passed up a handful, but again, I was also passed as well. It was nice to get to the top so I could catch my breath. I thought, "One down, two to go." I didn't count on the constant rollers which seemed more up than down. I saw hill number 2 and again had to tell myself that I had put in the training. This was longer than the first hill climb but not as steep, but not as steep isn't so great when the length was double the first climb. My heart rate was racing, but heck, I was in a race. I finally got to the top and was ready for some downhill and was relieved because I didn't think the third hill was going to be as bad. The downhill started well. I was going at 45 mph which made me a little nervous in the aeros. I saw some wind gusts ahead as dirt was flying across the road. I also noticed some of the other cyclists were swerving badly. I braced, and the crosswind nailed me. It was scary for a second but I was able to compensate and stay upright. (Later in the finish area I heard someone mention that they saw someone wipe out in that area pretty hard). The downhill leveled out but we were still going into a headwind. We finally reached the third hill. It wasn't as steep as either of the other hills but it seemed as long as the second...but into a headwind made it suck real bad. I was talking to a guy near me and he said he loved the hills because he would kill it, but going downhill made him feel slow. He said he saw me pass him 4-5 times on the downhill. He didn't have aeros which was a problem for him but he left me on the climb. I finally reached the top and was glad to be headed back to the coast. We still had about 5 miles to go and I knew that I would be just off my goal time but I felt pretty good considering the hill climbs. I passed Mr. non-aero bars one more time and pushed toward the finish. Riding into the chute area was great except that meant I had 2 hours left.

TRANSITION 2:
I dismounted my bike and ran in my shoes the couple hundred yards to my bike rack. There were only 1-2 other bikes on my rack so I knew I was doing pretty well. I was able to quickly change my shoes and head back out for the run.

The run along the beach

THE RUN:
I felt pretty good at the start of the run until I looked at my heart rate and knew that 169 was no good. I thought, I am in trouble, I can't do 2 hours of this. There were tons of people cheering so I tried to enjoy the moment and ignore things like pain, heart rate and more pain. The saw the winner of the race pass me going the other way as I was less than a half mile into my run. The women pros were going through the halfway point and passing me. They run crazy fast, and after the swim and bike, it is really impressive. I was tired but kept pushing. the run along the coast was great with tons of people cheering. Then we headed up a hill and onto a street between houses, so we weren't right next to the ocean anymore. With houses on both sides it cut the wind and seemed a lot hotter. This area had a lot more inclines as well which seems like huge climbs at this point in the race. There is one big hill that you have to climb but I was able to keep pushing through. It was awesome to see my family who were standing out in the driveway at the beach house we were staying at. It was good support. When I hit mile 3 I thought "only 10 more miles...oh crap." I was moving, not very fast, but still running. I kept plugging away thinking "In one hour I'll be back at this point and that much closer to the finish."

The halfway point sucked because that meant I still had half to go. I did pretty well hydrating. I would drink the water and gatorade, then pour water on my head. Grab sponges, squeeze them out on my head or pin them on the back of my neck by putting them in my collar. The coke was good when I got it. I didn't take a lot of gels because it seemed like I would always be too busy with the other things and would miss them. My energy was running out but I finally hit the last checkpoint which meant I only had 3-4 miles to go...but I knew I was close to being in trouble as far as energy. I had a gel in my jersey and hammered it down but had no water to help it. I was struggling at this point and was in the housing area where it seemed hotter. I passed through a great aid station where I was able to get some more water and gatorade and I knew that the turn to go back to the beach road was only 500 yards away...but I bonked with about 200 yards to the turn (and about 2 miles to the finish) I had run the whole way at this point, never stopping or walking. I couldn't do it any longer and I started walking. I was thinking that these last 2 miles could be ugly because I could no longer keep up my run. I was frustrated because I was at pace to be under 2 hours, but here I was walking.
I hit the turn to go down the hill towards the beach and thought that I should at least run downhill. This actually hurt the muscles really bad with the pounding of the downhill but it got me moving. It kind of woke my body up and from then on I just kept moving. I figured I was moving at a ten minute pace so with 2 miles left I only had 20 minutes to go. They moved by slowly but I eventually moved to mile 12...I could count the minutes on my hand. As each minute passed I would close a finger down from 10, 9,8,7,6...and then I could count the minutes down on one hand. Less than a half mile to go. I crossed the bridge which meant I would shortly turn and only have 2 relatively short straight-aways to go. I felt bad for all those people who were turning at the turn around point, but it felt great that I didn't have to. Only one minute to go. I was on the final straightaway. I was smiling and I heard the announcer say over the load speaker "Look at the smile on 942...Charles Romeril...Give this athlete a cheer as he pushes for the finish." I probably ran the fastest at this point than any other during the half-marathon. It only lasted for a couple hundred yards and I had to slow down...but the finish was in sight.

In the finish Chute

THE FINISH:

I was ecstatic as I crossed the finish. Completely elated. I was hoping for a 5:30.00 finish and thought I was close. My run was a few minutes over my goal and so was my bike but I thought I made up some time in the transitions and had no clue about my swim time. I gladly grabbed my medal and placed it around my neck. They also gave us a cool finishers hat as well.
I wobbled a little through that area and a medical person came up to me and ask if I needed help. I told him I was fine and he didn't seem convinced. I told him I just finished a 1/2 Ironman and just need a second to get my legs under me. I thanked him for his concern and then stumbled to the massage line. After about 10 minutes I made it in. There was a guy who was checking people in and asked me what hurt. I told him that my shoulders hurt and my lower back. Again, major concern. "Dude, I just did a 1/2 Ironman, everything hurts, I'm fatigued, let me go lie down." The therapist who was assigned to me was great but by the time I walked over to her my quads started seizing up. I decided that instead of the should and back I will let her work on the quads and hamstrings. These people are great. They rub people down who are stinky, sweaty and quite disgusting. It was great.

Glad it's over

She's happy she's married to an Ironman (well, 1/2 of one)

I then headed to the food tent. They had cold little Cesare's pizza which was not good, especially compared to the "Ultimate Meat Lovers" pizza from the night before. I threw it away and grabbed a gatorade and water and just wanted to get out of there. I headed back to my bike rack and Emily and my sister Lisa were there...three barriers away of course. It was great to be finished so I slowly started packing all my things, put on a change of clothes and headed towards the exit. The crowds were huge which meant that in order to get through we had to walk on the sand which wasn't any fun. We were finally able to jump on our bikes and ride the 2 miles back to the house. There were tons of people still on the roads...of course that would continue for another 4 hours.
I made it back to the house and felt really good, probably the best I have ever felt after a long-distance event. I was able to wind down and then start eating. I had probably burned close to 10,000 calories which meant I could eat whatever I wanted.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
My official time was 5:24.15. Again, I am ecstatic with my performance and next time I will make sure to put on sunscreen...because I am really hurting 2 days later. I also have some deep muscle soreness in my quads. but overall, I am feeling great and....
I AM 1/2 IRONMAN!!!!

Let's get it started again

2009-12-07T07:27:00.001-07:00

My writing has become a little rusty so I am going to attempt to write more. I have been reading a book called Trust Agents by Chris Brogan and I have been following his blog. He emphasizes that people in my line of work need to blog often for a variety of reasons, one of them is to become better writers. I used to be able to hammer out a research paper a week while going to school without any problems, but with how busy I have been at work I haven’t found the time to do much writing lately. I start with this post and hopefully it will build.

Halloween at the office

2009-11-02T14:28:00.002-07:00

Aw Hail...

2009-08-15T17:01:00.007-06:00

What a day. I competed in the Utah Half, a half Ironman distance triathlon and it was quite the adventure.It is supposed to be 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike and a half marathon, 13.2 miles, for a total of 70.3 miles.

I woke up around 2:00 and then 3:00 and then 4:00. They say the day before a big race like this you are supposed to hydrate. I excelled at it because I was going to the bathroom all day long and into the night. Finally at 4:00 when I had to go again, I decided I might as well get up. Things went smoothly until we lined up for the swim. All the weather reports said it was going to be a calm morning but right at 6:45 a wind Storm blew in. The race directors couldn't get one of their buoys to stay in place as the wind kept blowing it across the lake. We waited, and waited and waited. Finally after about 45 minutes they decided to start the swim but we were only going to do one lap which would cut the swim short by .5-.6 miles. We took off in a mass start instead of waves because they wanted to get us out of the water sooner than later, due to an impending storm. It made for a crowded swim. The swim went well except for the large waves. When I would turn my head to breathe a wave would hit just right and I would swallow a ton of Utah Lake water (which is some pretty nasty stuff.) It was hard to spot the exit from the water due to the sun shinning right in our eyes, but I finally made it, problem was I couldn't get out of the water. The boat ramp is covered in lake scum so as I stood up to start running out, I slid 8 feet backwards. Everyone was acting like seals trying to slide up the ramp on their belly's. The race director was pulling people out. It had to be a hilarious sight.

Transition one went well except I forgot my race number so I had to turn around and head back and get it.

The bike started off great. I was averaging 22.9 miles per hour. At one point we were supposed to turn and go through a trailer park, but someone had closed the gate. We were clueless as what to do so we kept going straight. A cop came tearing up and got us all heade back on the right course but it probably added an additional half mile so I guess I did do the whole 70.3. The turn mistake created quite the peleton as about 20 bikes all met up at the same place. It was awesome for about a mile until it spread out enough so that people wouldn't have to draft. We then headed west and realized that there was some brutal wind. We had to ride at a 45 degree angle sometimes just to stay on the bike and when we headed North it was like going into a brick wall. I saw my bike pace continually drop by the minute. I have never ridden a bike in that kind of wind, it wasn't very fun. On the way back you could look off to the north and see massive black clouds heading our way. I would watch the faces of other bikers and you could see the look of concern, we were going to get hammered. The last 10 miles we were back in town so buildings would shelter us from the wind a little, but that is when the storm hit us. It started with hail. Riding 20 mph in a tri jersey doens't give much protection. It hurt. I could feel chuncks of hail go into my helmet and slowly melt. We got pelted pretty good and then the rain came. This made it difficult to brake around corners as my hands would slip. My shoes were also filling up with water. Then I had to dodge two people as they decided to make wrong turns in front of me, and another biker who broke out into a litany of cuss words as something on his bike broke. I rode the last 5 miles at a great pace but still ended up with a 19.3 mph pace. Without the wind I am sure I would have been over 20.

Transition two was OK except everything was covered in mud from the rain storm.

As I started the run I met up with my neighbor who was going to do the run to train for a future marathon. It helped to have him there. He was talking and asking me questions but I didn't answer. It's not because I didn't want to, it's because I couldn't. I was spent and had to conserve talking energy to try and finish the dang thing. It was great to have him there because at one point I noticed some nipple chafeing. He had some Body Glide and gave my a chunck. I strategically placed it where I needed it and the hurting sensation went away. This assuredly prevented some massive bleeding and a raw nipple for me. Now, a few hours later, there is only some uncomfortable pain. The run was hard and it kept raining off and on. I was pretty consistent until around mile 9.5. Then at every aid station I would walk and catch my breath for about a minute. It helped but it also pushed me past the 2-hour goal for the run portion.

Overall it was brutally awesome.

So now the question is...can I do a full Ironman? I don't know. I would defianately have to train better and do the race smarter. Ask me in a couple of weeks and I may have an answer.

BTW - you may notice in the picture my freshly shaven legs. Emily seems to be really bothered by it. It may be because she is jealous that they are so sexy and smooth.

Ready for Discovery

2009-08-14T12:00:00.002-06:00

Tomorrow will be a day of discovery form me as I venture out on a half ironman triathlon. I am hoping to be under 6 hours but we'll see. the weather should be nice and cool.

It's been awhile...I know, but...

2009-08-05T20:46:00.003-06:00

I will organize my thoughts better in a week and a half...but I have caught the Ironman bug. I will be competing in the Utah Half, which is 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and 13.1 mile run. I don't think I really respect the distance and could fail miserably, but this could be my launching point to Ironman Arizona in November of 2010.

I have spent hours watching Youtube videos and reading entries about people's Ironman experiences. Whenever someone says (in a video or writes it) "you are an Ironman," I get chills. Wow, Incredible, I want that.

I recently did an olympic distance tri (.9 swim, 26 bike and 6 run). It felt great except I suffered a panic attack in the first couple hundred yards of the swim. It was bizzare. I could suffer the same fate for the Utah Half, especially because I havn't swam for almost 4 weeks. Luckily a reservoir opened up near my house which is perfect for open water swim practice. I'll be their Saturday.

This journey isn't official yet, I still need the discovery of the Half experience and there is also no gaurantee of making the Arizona Ironman either dueto a mad dash to register in the minutes after it officially opens...BUT, as I have told Emily, "you will be able to say you are married to an Ironman and if I do this I will change my name to Kris "Ironman" Romeril. Stay tuned...

Here we go again

2009-05-15T10:18:00.002-06:00

It has been 4 weeks since the Salt Lake Marathon and i run the Ogden one tomorrow. I feel like I am healed from Salt lake but I know that I have lost some fitness...so it could get really interesting during the 2nd half of the race. I am not trying to better my time but Emily has put the pressure on because I have to finish quick enough so that we can make it home, get cleaned up, and then be to the Dave Ramsey show/concert thingy by 12:30. That means I need to be done in 4 hours, assuming it starts on time.

Under 4 Hours

2009-04-18T20:11:00.002-06:00

Today I ran the Salt Lake City Marathon. I ran it last year and did pretty well until mile 24. I hit the wall and it took me more than 1 hour to finish the last 3 miles. Mentally and physically I was spent and at one point there was a bus stop bench. I went and sat down for 10 minutes. It was horrible.
Today when I passed that exact same bench...I gave it the finger, cursed it and pressed on. With 1.5 miles left I still had strength but I was pretty exhausted so I adopted a run/walk strategy. I made it to the finish line with the official time of 3:47:47. I thought I could get close to 4 hours and I crushed it. I beat last years time by almost 54 minutes and beat my personal best by over 22 minutes.
I am pretty sore but I need to heal soon because I have another marathon in 4 weeks from today.
I am estatic with my performance today and what a rush to reach that finish line regardless of the time..but with a great time it makes it that much better. (I know great is relative because the winner ran it in 2:15.)
The following are the stats:
Age group: 36th of 109
Overall: 235 of 1067
Overall Male 188 of 685

Mile / Split
1 /0:07:55
2/ 0:08:09
3/ 0:07:51
4/ 0:07:53
5/ 0:08:17
6/ 0:08:25
7/ 0:08:34
8/ 0:08:31
9/ 0:08:35
10/ 0:08:14
11/ 0:08:17
12/ 0:08:28
13/ 0:08:32
14/ 0:08:12
15/ 0:08:17
16/ 0:08:24
17/ 0:08:33
18/ 0:08:33
19/ 0:08:41
20/ 0:08:48
21/ 0:09:00
22/ 0:09:04
23/ 0:09:27
24/ 0:09:38
25/ 0:10:37
26/ 0:10:44
last .2/ 0:02:08
Total / 3:47:47

13.1

2009-03-28T17:15:00.002-06:00

I ran the Riverton 1/2 Marathon this morning. It was cold and windy but I felt really good. I thought if I did well I would be able to come in around 1:52 but in the end I ended with a time of 1:45:23...which is a 8:02 Min/Mi.
Here are my splits:

Mile Time

7:31
7:48
8:10
7:52
8:15
8:18
8:14
8:27
7:55
8:19
8:09
8:03
7:44
:38 (this was the last .10 of the course to give the 13.1)

I ended up:
7th of 22 in the age group - Men 35-39
39th of 103rd in all the men
50th of 190 of total men and women

Daylight Savings Brings Out the Freaks

2009-03-23T09:21:00.003-06:00

I like daylight savings. It is great during the summer when the sun is out until 9:00 at night, but the one drawback is when I go running first thing on Saturday mornings. I like to get out on the trails at breaking dawn...oh sorry, that is a silly book...at the dawn's early light. It is awesome that a few miles from my house I can run on a river trail as the geese, ducks and other birds are waking up. I even saw a group of about seven deer the other morning. With the recent time change it means that when I head out on the trails it is still dark for about 20-30 minutes. I don't stress too much about a mountain lion mauling me for breakfast...really my only concern is about stepping in goose poop or dog feces that idiot people don't clean up after.
Now, there is a new threat out on the trails. As I headed out on Saturday I was no more than a half mile into my run when I see another person running towards me. No big deal, there are lots of runners out here, just not that many when it is still dark outside. As I approach him he immediately turns around and starts running with me. We exchange pleasant good mornings and I slow up a little bit to let him go ahead, but then he slows up, so I speed up, and then he speeds up. He then asks if it is OK if he runs with me because he is scared to run in the river bottoms by himself in the dark. I think "Should I sucker punch this freak now?" I agree and we keep going down the trail. He asks me if by chance my name is Kris. I think "who in the hell is this guy." He said he met a Chris out here last fall. I emphasized that it wasn't me because I wasn't running last fall. We continue talking and he brings up his wife and how 14 months ago she couldn't even walk, but now with this product Reliv, she is starting to run again. I don't think anything about it other than he is excited that his wife can walk again. My biggest concern is that he is slowing me way down keeping me above a 10:00 mile pace. He is gasping for air during the conversation, which is somewhat entertaining to me, so I pick up the pace to see just how fast we will need to go to get him to quit talking. The faster pace, a steep hill and the sun appearing on the horizon did the trick. He finally gasped a thank you and then offered me his card and told me again how great Reliv is for rebuilding muscles after a workout.
Seriously??? At 6:30 in the morning this guy is out peddling product. I can't blame the guy for trying, especially in these economic times, but I had to run 18 miles on Saturday and he made the first 3 miserable. Maybe I will have to throw in a sucker punch next time.

Update on the Idiocy

2009-03-19T17:49:00.002-06:00

So I would like to thank all those concerned about the incident concerning the post:
The Idiocy of Long Distance Running.
I have received a number of condolences and questions about the current condition.
I am happy to report that all is well...mostly because I have chosen to run topless. To be clear, I only go without a shirt while in my basement on the treadmill. I don't quite have the adonic physique needed to stroll around on the running trails in just my shorts. I have lost 20+ pounds but I will probably need to go through a whole series of P90X before I attempt that.

Total Insanity

2009-03-18T18:23:00.003-06:00

It was officially announced today that the IronMan series will begin hosting an annual event in St. George, Utah. It begins in May of 2010. There is no way I would do it that soon...but should I consider 2011? That gives me just over 2 years. I plan on running (jogging) 3 marathons this year. Then I could start doing the swimming which shouldn't be too hard since I grew up a swimmer, but I haven't really swam in 10 years. I would also need to start the biking, which I have never done.

It's only:
2.4 mile swim
112 mile bike ride
26.2 mile run........How hard could it be?

It would be a huge commitment and the time it would take to train may be too much...but what an accomplishment.

It's a Conspiracy

2009-03-17T12:44:00.005-06:00

So they just added another area code in Utah, but this one is in addition to the current area code. So now when I need to call my neighbor across the street to send my daughter home, I have to use an area code. That's right...I have to use ten digits to call across the street. I had to reconfigure my Tivo to use 10 digits and I had to go into all my contacts on my cell phone and change them as well. What a pain. I remember a Seinfeld episode where this occurred,but Salt Lake doesn't have anywhere near the population of New York.

So in rebellion against those who made these decisions, I no longer use my phone to get my daughter to come home for dinner...Now, I put down the Doritos, get off of the couch, and actually walk across the street to get her.

I'll show them.

The Idiocy of Long Distance Running

2009-02-16T20:20:00.004-07:00

This past weekend was an easy weekend for running...I only had to run 10 miles. I know some of you will think that is crazy, but I am proud to say that I am at the point where 10 miles isn't too big a deal.

But long distance running is pretty stupid at times. While running the 10 miles I guess I was focused on other pains or something else because I failed to notice something quite disturbing and disgusting. About 10 minutes after I was done I had already removed all the sweaty clothes and was in my nice clean sweats. I entered our kitchen to go make a protein shake and finally noticed that I had an uncomfortable stinging pain. It still slightly hurts today (3 days later).

It makes sense now that I think about it. I was running for an hour and a half in temperatures that ranged from 26 - 34 degrees, so it was quite cold, but this hasn't happened to me before. Some people put bandages over to prevent the rubbing and inevitable pain later...but again, I have been running for 4 years now and this has never happened.

Well, now a scab has formed right on the tip, it hurts just thinking about it. Anyways, the picture of my shirt, post-run, should explain...

Thank goodness blood rinses out in the washing machine.

"Undress the Mannequin"

2009-02-16T14:40:00.006-07:00

Friday night (Feb 13th) Em's sister dropped off their kids to spend the night at our house, in exchange for them taking our kids to spend the night at their house on the 14th. It was a great trade because that meant we didn't have to find babysitters for Valentines. After they left with the kids we decided to go to Tepanyaki, the Japanese Steak House. There was already an hour and a half wait at 4:00, so we went clothes shopping. We finally got in to eat and it was delicious. We then decided to go see a movie. The movie we chose didn't start for 45 minutes so Em said, "we should go pick up a special outfit for tonight." I tried to play it cool and prevent myself from shouting "that would be awesome."
So we went across the street to a store and headed to that certain area of the store. I always feel somewhat uncomfortable just standing around...but we have to make sacrifices to get action.
Anyways, Em found an outfit that she liked and we headed to the front to pay but Em saw a Valentine display which had a mannequin in a special outfit. She really liked this outfit (So did I, it looked nice on the plaster woman, but I knew it would look better on my wife). Em asked a sales clerk and they said they didn't have anymore of those outfits...except for the one on the mannequin that happened to be the right size for Em. Well, when Em wants something, she gets it. The next thing I know the store employee is starting to remove the outfit from the mannequin. It was more difficult for her than she would have thought so we are standing there with arms of the mannequin lying on the floor, the lady hugging the mannequin trying to hold it up as she is trying to get the bottom part of the outfit (which is very minimal) off. She then yells across the store, shouting she needs help to undress the mannequin. Finally, Emily gave me that look that eloquently says..."you need to help her if you want any tonight." So I had to take the legs off the stand and help pull the bottom part of the outfit (which again, is very minimal) off the mannequin. Who would have thought it would be so hard to take some strings off a mannequin. It was quite the sight to see arms, legs, and pieces of bedtime outfits strewn across the front entrance of the store.
When all was said and done, the struggle with the mannequin was all for naught...because I wouldn't run to a restaurant at 11:00 at night and get Em a molten chocolate cake.

Emily's editorial: I don't think that it is appropriate for Kris to discuss our private life on his blog page but since he has I feel like I need to set the record straight. It wasn't at 11:00 at night, it was at 9:30 and the restaurant who makes the delicious molten cake is in the same shopping center as the movie theater and the store where we bought the "outfit". I had been promised the molten cake, I had been saving myself for that molten cake all day, I even denied myself desert at Tepanyaki. So I all have to say is... if I didn't get my dessert why should Kris?

Xanadu

2009-02-11T07:20:00.003-07:00

Last night my kid's elementary school had their skate night. My kids just rode their scooters but Em and I got the roller blades, or inline skates...I don't know what to call them anymore., it has been years since I skated.
Well, although it has been years since I skated, I'll be honest, I am still really good. There were tons of little kids so I had to hold back some, but I was awesome. We skated on the same rink that I used to go play hockey when I was in college. A bunch of us would rent out the rink at 10:00 at night and play hockey all night long. It was a blast. I think I could still do it if I wanted.

How good does this look?

2009-02-06T08:04:00.003-07:00

It would be nice to eat a doughnut, but when you are trying to:
1) save money
2) lose weight
3) train for a marathon
...it makes it a little easier to say no. Every Friday morning at work we get an email saying that there are doughnuts in the break room for 60 cents. It drives me nuts because first, I hate mass emails and second, I hate being reminded that there is frosted fried goodness on the other side of the building.

We love you Grandma

2009-01-05T14:26:00.004-07:00

My heart is saddened to learn that my grandmother from Canada has passed away. Seeing as I grew up in California I didn’t get to see my grandparents very often but when we did they were extremely memorable trips.
My first memory of a trip to Canada was when I was probably 7 years old. It was a complete disaster getting there. Our family would pack up in our yellow van, putting the ice chest between the two front seats, which would serve as an additional seat for one of the 11 kids. We would pile in for the brutal drive. I don’t know how my mother did it; my dad was smart and would fly up later so that he didn’t have to make the road trip. Seatbelts weren’t a high priority back then so we would constantly move all around the van. Mike and I would be in the back and he would punch the seat and then I would pretend to start crying. I would have to do it loud enough for mom to hear so that she would then start yelling at Mike. How completely stupid were we? We were trying to get mom mad at us which was almost suicidal. But what else were we to do on those long boring trips. We didn’t have iPods, cell phones, dvd players in the vehicle…the only thing we had was countless merciless hours of The Carpenters on 8-track.
On our way to Canada our van caught on fire, broke down in the middle of Montana, and Gary and Jim went hitchhiking (Thanks to the family who went out of their way to help us out), but we finally made it…and then the real fun began. I rode a horse for the first time. I vaguely remember having a night terror episode, screaming at the top of my lungs as Grandma came running in trying to figure out what was going on…and then the whole family had “rear” terror as the milk from Grandma and Grandpa’s cows wasn’t quite the same as we were used to drinking. It messed up our digestive systems and 11 kids were sick and all had diarrhea. I don't remember our van breaking down on the way back home but imagine all that time with 11 sick kids. I’m not sure which was worse, the trip there or the trip back home. I know I crapped my pants at least once and I am sure I wasn’t the only one. The smell stuck around in that vehicle for another two months.
Other trips to Canada were much better. When I was a teenager I remember sleeping in a camper just outside Grandma’s house. We were able to ride their ATV’s but the most memorable was taking the canoe and going fishing in one of the nearby lakes. My brother’s and I would spend hours out there casting the lines and catching the fish. I caught the biggest one, a 14 inch Pike. We brought it back and I helped (actually watched) as Grandma cleaned it and then we cooked it up. I don’t like fish so I naturally thought it was disgusting but I will always remember Grandma talking me through each step of the whole process.
The last time I saw grandma was when Lexi was born. We headed up there when she was a week old (Lexi...not my Grandma).
I truly wish I could be there as the family honors her life. I love being around them and all my dad’s brothers and sisters. My grandparents have quite the posterity with nine children of their own. We hope we will always make you proud. I love you Grandma and will be excited to see you again some day.
.................Edit to Post.................
Well...I am packed and ready to go to the funeral. I am hitching a ride with some cousins. It will be a long drive to Canada but it should be fun with all the ice and snow covered roads. I hear Montana is nice this time of year.

WF Video Contest

2008-11-24T12:39:00.004-07:00

FYI...I won a $350 gift certificate for this video.
Emily spent it all on food storage.

Blast From the Past

2008-11-21T21:47:00.003-07:00

Keep an eye out for some guy named Mike Pierce (towards the end). I ran into him on the streets of SLC.

Go BYU

2008-11-21T13:41:00.003-07:00

Our BYU flag will be waving tomorrow. Hopefully my alma mater can beat the Utes.

Almost Famous Again

2008-11-13T14:37:00.004-07:00

Here is another item our marketing team produced. (And I am not the bald guy-but it is my voice)

Thank You Veterans

2008-11-11T13:29:00.004-07:00

One of the things I love about the company I work for is how patriotic they are.
Today during the eleventh hour, of the eleventh day, of the eleventh month our company gathered in our lobby to honor those Veterans who have and are currently serving our country. We have quite a few people who have served in the military and many who still serve. I am so grateful to all those who have served, for their sacrifices and the sacrifices of their families. I honor and salute you.

Happy Birthday Dad!!!

2008-11-01T10:28:00.004-06:00

Halloween is over which means it is my dad's birthday. Coming from a family with 13 people in it (11 kids), it was always difficult to remember each other's birthdays, but we could always remember my dad's because it was the day after Halloween.
We would spend all Halloween night running from house to house filling our pillow cases with candy. The key was to pick busy streets for halloweeners because that means that the people were already at the door passing out candy. You could run up, grab the candy and immediately take off for the next house. Slow streets meant that you would have to wait for the person to get off of their rear and walk to the door. Nothing was worse than having to wait 34 seconds to get your treat and be heading off to the next house. If you could do it under less than 14 seconds, chances were, you could fill that pillow case up and possibly move on to pillow case number two. It was nice having a couple brothers close to my age who shared my anxious energy to get as much candy as possible; and thanks to the residents on Mayberry and Carnegie Avenues who didn't notice our tendency to double dip.
After completing our Halloween haul we would always try to sneek inside the house and dump two-thirds of our candy in our room so our mom wouldn't notice how much we really had. We would then show our mom one-third of what we actually got and then she would take it away and offer us one piece of candy a day. How totally ridiculous was that. One fun size snickers or a roll of smarties a day. We were certainly deprived children...of course we did consume the other two-thirds of the hidden candy (500-600 pieces) within 22.5 hours after Halloween.
But before we would put our Halloween candy away we would all honor our dad's birthday and give him a present. We would each alllow him to choose ONE piece of candy. At the end of Halloween night, there would literally be thousands of pieces of candy in our house, and dad would only end up with eleven. Now that, is truly pathetic...or maybe it is cute and endearing.
Happy Birthday Dad, your Laffy Taffy is in the mail!!!

Halloween and Politics

2008-10-27T12:56:00.007-06:00

Just some political commentary...only a week to go.

I fought the law...

2008-10-25T17:10:00.004-06:00

...and I won.

The other night the family was heading home and the fuzz pulled me over. As I was heading down the street the car in front of me was going quite fast and I was actually going the speed limit. The light turned red in front of us so we both had to stop and a car pulled up right behind me. As soon as I crossed the intersection the bacon turned his lights on.
"You gotta be kidding me," I exclamined.
The car in front of me also pulled over. The cop came up and I said "There was no way I was speeding was I?"
"Yep, I gotcha," said the five-O.
"Sir, I know that the car in front of me was going really fast which is why he probably pulled over," I said.
I could see the doubt in the barney's eyes. He took my papers and headed back to his car and the car in front of me took off, knowing that they just got lucky.
The po-po came back up and knocked on my window.
" I have good news and bad news," said the onion. "You wont receive a citation but your license is expired."
It had been expired for more than two months and I had no idea.
One-time let me go and Emily said it isn't fair that I got so lucky. But it wasn't luck because I wasn't speeding and the expired license was an honest oversight. So I guess police are all-right and I apoligize for using all the slang terms for you in this post.
(And I had to look up these different terms, because I had no idea what they were.)

My Radio Voice-Over

2008-10-25T09:44:00.002-06:00

Here is my radio voice over for one of our stores, Dick's Market - Some Grocery Stores north of Salt Lake.
I know it is nothing like my cousin who does voice-over work for Ford...but hey, it's not every day that you get to say dick on the radio.

Great Skating Video

2008-10-17T15:36:00.001-06:00

THE SONG

2008-09-16T12:55:00.004-06:00

My Award Winning Song:
Some explanation: At work, our team developed a viral marketing campaign for one of our product lines. Then we hosted a contest to create our own jingle, Therefore>>>

Great Video Clip from Almost Famous

2008-08-07T14:27:00.000-06:00

Be sure to look for the "Hemet is Heaven" bumper sticker.

I need to start running again

2008-08-05T13:34:00.000-06:00

I have gained more than 15 pounds since the Odgen marathon and I need to start getting back in shape...but it is much easier to just sit and watch TV or sleep.

States I have been in:

2008-06-20T12:58:00.001-06:00

create your own personalized map of the USA

2008-06-19T21:39:00.000-06:00

I have run three marathons in my life. The first one in San Diego in 2007. It was an eye opener and wiped me out...I didn't run for months after that. Then after nearly reaching 200 pounds I decided to start running again. I trained hard for the Salt Lake Marathon and was ready to beat my brother Mike's time, but at about mile 22 my body failed. I bonked and barely had the energy to finish walking the last 4 miles. Luckily Mike was there to keep me company.
Four weeks later I ran the Ogden Marathon. I didn't tell anyone that I was going to run it, except my wife. I was able to beat Mike's time.

What win I?

2008-06-19T11:25:00.000-06:00

'What win I, if I gain the thing I seek?
A dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy-
Who buys a minute's mirth to wail a week?
Or sells eternity to get a toy?
For one sweet grape who will the vine destroy?
Or what fond beggar, but to touch the crown,
Would with the scepter straight be strucken down'

Shakespeare

TWENTY-FOUR

2008-06-01T12:40:00.001-06:00

This is a family letter that was written a couple of years ago. Most of the incidents actually happened, although they probabaly didn't happen all within a 24 hour time period.

The following are actual events that may or may not have taken place within a 24 hour time period

The following takes place
between midnight and 1:00 a.m.

The midnight hour was nearing an end and they had been asleep for almost two and a half hours and the kids a couple more than that. Kris had begun to stir in the bedroom which was a little too uncomfortably warm.
“What in the world,” Kris screamed as he frantically sat up. He slapped his hand to his lower back where he felt a sharp and throbbing pain. “Oowww,” he grunted.
Emily groggily turned over. “What’s up?”
“I don’t know, I think a spider may have bit me.”
“There’s a spider in our bed, where?” she said as she scrambled to sit up, almost falling off the bed.

The following takes place
between 1:00 a.m. and 2:00 a.m.
Nicholas and Alexis were sound asleep oblivious to the commotion down the hall….

Emily was putting the sheets back on the bed. “So was it a spider or not?”
“Well, I was having a dream and a spider was climbing up the side of the bed and then crawled onto my back. Then I felt this pain,” Kris said still rubbing his back.
“Great, I’m not going to be able to sleep now with a spider that may or may not have bit you,” Emily said sarcastically.
“Come look at it and see what it is,” Kris said. He stood up to show his back to Emily.
“There is a red spot,” she said.
She walked around the bed to get a closer look. She made him lean over to examine his back. After poking around for a couple of seconds she lifted her hand into the air and proceeded to smack his back.
“Ow, what are you doing?” He exclaimed.
“It’s just a zit. Do you want me to pop it?”
“NO, that hurt! You’re not going to touch it now.”
Emily smiled and rubbed her hands together. “I think it’s ready to explode if you give me a chance.”
“Leave me alone. You’ll have to wait ‘til tomorrow before you try and pop it, I’ve got to get some sleep.”
They pulled the sheets back up and climbed into bed.
“Man it’s hot,” Kris said.
He rolled onto his side so that there was no pressure on the sore spot on his back. A red hand mark had started to appear where Emily had smacked him.
“So turn the air conditioner on,” Emily said. “I’ve been sweating all night.”
“No, we need to try and wait until it gets hotter.”
“Whatever,” she said and rolled over to go back to sleep.

The following takes place
Between 2:00 a.m. and 3:00 a.m.
The family slept soundly.

The following takes place
Between 3:00 a.m. and 4:00 a.m.

The family slept soundly.

The following takes place
Between 4:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m.
The family slept soundly.

The following takes place
Between 5:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m.
The family slept soun….
“♪….got to know when to hold ‘em. Know when to fold….♪”

The following takes place
Between 6:00 a.m. and 7:00 a.m.

“♪….’em. Know when to walk away. Know when to….♪”
Kris smacked the alarm off and then rolled over to jab Emily in the back. She pushed him away and mumbled something.
“Why does she make me set the alarm every night for 6:00 in the morning when she hasn’t gotten up before 7:00 in months,” Kris thought.
He buried his face in the pillow which was slightly damp from sweating throughout the night. The house was still slightly warm even though the windows were open. Kris pushed the blanket to the foot of the bed and quickly fell back asleep.

The following takes place
Between 7:00 a.m. and 8:00 a.m.
Emily sat up rubbing her eyes. “I better get up,” she muttered. “It’s almost 7:30.”
She rolled out of bed and began looking for her work out clothes. She wanted to get her exercising done early today because she had a list of errands to do. About 10 minutes later she was lacing up her shoes and getting the treadmill ready to go.
“What should I watch this morning” she thought as she turned the computer on. While the computer was warming up she untangled her earphones and plugged them into the speaker. She always did this so that she could hear whatever movie or television show she was watching over the sound of the treadmill. She could turn up the volume of her movie, but the earphones allowed the rest of the family to continue sleeping.
“Kris would make so much fun of me because I just watched this three days ago, but it is such a great movie,” she thought. She pushed the close button on the computer’s DVD player and tossed the Pride and Prejudice case on the chair.

….Thump, thump, thump, thump….

The following takes place
Between 8:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m.
….Thump, thump, thump, thump….
“Is that my head,” Kris wondered. He rolled over and realized that Emily had gotten up. The thumps were coming through the wall as Emily was in the middle of her work out on the treadmill, but there was a throbbing in his head. “Oh man, I think I am getting another migraine.”
He got up out of bed and his migraine was confirmed as the ache quickly turned to nausea and the urge to vomit arose. The inside of his throat was slightly burning from the stomach acids that had crept up his esophagus. He stood motionless for a moment and once he was sure that any fluid in his stomach was going to stay there, he headed down stairs.
Kris was rummaging through the cupboard looking for some aspirin. He tried remembering how many pills he should take because it hurt is head too much to actually try and read the directions. He knew the pills were small doses so he poured five into his hand. He popped them into his mouth and washed them down with the Welch’s purple grape juice he had poured into his cup.
“Aaahhh, nature’s sweetest nectar,” he mumbled. “I have to remind Emily to buy some more grape juice when she goes to Costco.”

♪Hot potato, hot potato….♪
Nicholas was now awake and excited to listen to his CD which he checked out from the library the day before. He loved having his Mom’s CD player sitting next to his bed.
♪….cold spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti….♪
Now Lexi was waking up. “Nicholas, I want Wiggles.”
“This is the wiggles, Lexi” Nicholas said. They both lay back down and began singing with the CD. “♪….give me that, give me that, give me that food. Mash banana mash banana….♪”

The following takes place
Between 9:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m.
Kris had barely gotten to the top of the stairs when he knew that what he just drank was quickly coming back up. He ran toward the bathroom and would have made it to the toilet in time, had the seat been left up.
“Why does she always have to put the toilet seat down,” he thought. Then a second wave started coming up his throat.

Emily folded up the treadmill and grabbed the towel to wipe off the beaded sweat that had formed on her forehead. She heard the faint sounds of Toot Toot, Chugga Chugga, Big Red Car. She walked toward her own bedroom and into the bathroom and saw Kris sitting on the edge of the bathtub with his head buried in a towel.
“Are you O.K.” she asked? But then she noticed purple liquid all over the toilet and hundreds of tiny little purple specks covering the walls. “What is that?”
Although muffled, she heard him distinctly say “Nature’s sweetest nectar.”

The following takes place
Between 10:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m.
Emily had just started the batch of laundry which was full of towels used to clean up Kris’ barf and the milk and cheerios that had been dumped onto the kitchen floor. Now Lexi was sitting in just her underwear at the dining room table enjoying a second attempt at breakfast. Nicholas was busy lining up all of the books, music CDs, and DVDs from the library.
“Check, check, check, check….” he said.
Emily headed back upstairs to see how Kris was doing.
“You are sweating like crazy,” she said as she sat down on the bed next to him.
“Well, it’s hot, and I’m suffering here,” he mumbled hoping for some more sympathy.
“As soon as that migraine pill kicks in you’ll be felling a lot better.”
“I just hope I don’t throw that up too.”
Emily started poking at his back. “This is a nasty zit.”
“Kill me now and just go ahead and have your way with it,” Kris said.
“My pleasure.” Emily grabbed a washcloth to be prepared for when all the fluid would come pouring out. “I’ve never seen a zit this big before.”
Kris groaned with displeasure at the thought of it.
Emily began digging her nails around the base hoping that the pimple would easily pop. She thought it wouldn’t take hardly any pressure at all. A couple of moments later she was up and shifting her weight so that she could squeeze his back even harder. Nothing was happening except her nails kept digging into his skin deeper and deeper.
“STOP,” Kris yelled.
He put his palm over the spot where blood was beginning to appear where Emily’s nails had dug in. “No, no more. You are not going to touch it. If you can’t pop it without killing me you are not going to touch it.”
“O.K., maybe we’ll try again later.” Emily said.
“NO,” Kris sternly replied.
“We’ll see.” Emily got up and headed towards the bathroom to get cleaned up and ready. “Is it O.K. if I go get my haircut and if so will you be all right watching the kids?”
“Yeah, I think I’m feeling a little better,” Kris said and then mumbled “Except for my back.”
“What did you say?”
“Can you put a movie on for them?”
“That’s not what you said but I will put a movie on for them.”
Kris rolled over to try and get a little rest to clear out the cobwebs that were still in his head from the migraine.
He woke up for a brief second when Emily kissed him on the forehead before she headed out.

The following takes place
Between 11:00 a.m. and noon
“♪Winnie the pooh. Winnie the pooh. Silly liddel nana nana, stuft with fluff. He’s Winnie the….♪” Lexi was singing as loud as she could and filling in the unknown lyrics with words of her own.
“Sshhh,” Nicholas said with his finger to his lips. “Dad is sleeping.”
“Dad not sleeping,” Lexi said.
Nicholas quickly became irritated. “Lexi, Dad is too sleeping and he is sick.”
“Dad sick?”
“Yes, and if you are too loud I’ll turn the movie off,” Nicholas said trying to conduct himself in the same manner that his parents do.
“NO, I watch Pooh bear.”
They both turned away from each other and continued playing with their own toys as if their little conversation never took place.

The following takes place
Between noon and 1:00 p.m.
Kris was feeling much better now that he was moving around. Most of the grogginess had worn off when he was outside cooking hotdogs on the grill. He would usually cook four of them; two for him and one each for the kids, but he feared that the hotdogs would only add to his headache which had been rapidly disappearing. Nicholas had devoured his hotdog in seconds and was now plowing through a bag of Doritos. Lexi wanted a French vanilla yogurt.
Kris heard the door to the garage open. “Mom is home.”
“Mom,” both Nicholas and Lexi yelled.
“Hi guys,” Emily said as she walked around the corner.
Emily put down her purse and pulled out a small packet which was wrapped in aluminum foil.
“What’s that, leftovers from lunch? Give me some,” Kris said as he took the packet from Emily’s hands.
Nicholas peeked over the counter to see what was in the packet. “I want some cookies.”
“They’re not cookies,” Emily said as a smirk spread across her mouth.
“What in the world?” exclaimed Kris.

The following takes place
Between 1:00 p.m. and 2:00 p.m.

“What is it dad? Let me see. I want some,” said Nicholas.
Now Lexi was interested as she lifted her head momentarily ignoring her second cup of yogurt.
Emily grabbed the packet back from Kris. “It’s my hair that they cut off.”
“Why?” Kris simply stated.
“I am going to donate it to Locks of Love,” Emily said.
“What,” Kris asked.
“It’s a charity. It’s for kids who have had chemotherapy and they use donated hair to make wigs to cover their bald held.” Emily replied.
“Mom,” Nicholas said. “Grandpa Isaac needs hair for his bald head. We can give it to him to make him happy.”
Kris and Emily both started laughing.
“No sweetie,” Emily said as she knelt down to give him a hug. “Grandpa wouldn’t want my hair and I think he is happy with his bald head.”
“Yeah, but then he wouldn’t get a sun burn on his head,” Nicholas said.
“You have good intentions Nicholas, but this hair will be for little kids your age who are sick….and for big kids like me who are going bald,” Kris said as he winked at Emily.
“Well, can I still have a cookie?” Nicholas asked.
“Sure,” Emily said. She walked over to the cupboard to get the cookies.
“I want cookies,” Lexi said as she was struggling to take her shirt off because yogurt had been smeared across the front.
Emily gave Nicholas a couple of cookies and then went to help Lexi. The neck of her shirt was stuck across her face with her arms flailing in the air. Emily lifted the shirt over Lexi’s head to free her. “So how’s the zit on your back?” Emily asked.
“Don’t worry about it, its fine,” Kris mumbled. A few pieces of cookies flew out of his mouth. “By the way, there are still nail marks.”

The following takes place
Between 2:00 p.m. and 3:00 p.m.
They were finally in the car and ready to go.
“Can I get a toy,” Nicholas asked.
“Probably not,” Kris answered. “If you guys are good then maybe we’ll go to a movie.”
“The big movie,” Nicholas said as he snapped his safety belts into place.
“Only if you are good,” Emily said.

They pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot and didn’t even attempt to try and find a parking spot any closer than two-hundred yards from the entrance. Fortunately there was a spot next to the cart return which was more important because they could secure the kids in the cart and not have to chase them through the parking lot. Lexi took her place in the child’s seat and Kris hoisted Nicholas into the basket. They headed towards the nursery because Emily wanted to get some new flowers to plant around the house and in the pots that Kris’ dad gave her. Only a few minutes had passed and Kris and the kids were already bored.
“Were going over by the patio furniture to wait for you,” Kris said as he pointed towards the corner of the outdoor nursery.
The store had two large canopies on display with a variety of furniture underneath. Kris took the kids out of the cart and they each found a seat. Five minutes later Emily had her arms full of flowers and she started to fill the cart. She left to go find some more and the kids were becoming more restless.
Just across the walkway from where they sat was another display. The store had set up a fountain with a small pond. The pond was prefabricated out of hard plastic and potted plants sat up against the back. Stones surrounded the front of the pond to look like a small retaining wall just like the one Grandpa Romeril built in his new backyard. The kids had finally noticed the water bubbling down the side of the fountain and into the pond. They jumped out of their chairs and went to the side to stick their hands in the water.
“Wow, so cool,” Nicholas said.
“Yeah, cool,” Lexi said as she was nearly lying down on the top row of bricks so that she could reach the water.
Kris jumped up from the chair and headed over to the kids. “Lexi, you are going to fall in.” he grabbed her and set her back down on the ground. “Look, there’s goldfish in there.”
“I love goldfish, can I have some to eat,” said Nicholas.
“They aren’t goldfish crackers. These are real fish, like Nemo,” Kris said.
“Are you guys ready to head inside,” Emily said as she walked up behind them and loaded a second batch of flowers into the cart.

The following takes place
Between 3:00 p.m. and 4:00 p.m.
As they headed through the store Kris took notice of a new high definition television they had on sale. The television was turned to the National Geographic channel and the picture was so lifelike it made him shiver as a spider was creeping across the screen.
“The North American Wolf Spider is the largest species of spider in the Northern Hemisphere. They are found in burrows located in open fields, but as new housing developments move in, the Wolf Spiders have had to adapt….” The television screen now showed a spider crawling across some carpet toward a baby crib. The program continued “….The spiders that have been forced from their fields find new domiciles in cracks and dark corners of the common home….”
“That is so gross,” said Emily.
“Well you know, they just built that church in the field next to our house,” Kris said.
“Stop it,” Emily said as she left Kris there and grabbed the cart and went ahead with the kids.
“….All wolf spiders are very skittish and very fast, but not necessarily too aggressive. Due to their speed and their nervousness, they should not be handled. Female Wolf Spiders may produce many egg sacs. Just before the babies are ready to hatch, the female spider searches for a live animal so that the offspring has immediate nourishment when they hatch. The Wolf Spider will typically find cattle where they inject their eggs underneath the skin or outer membrane of the host. Within 24 hours the spiderlings hatch and begin consuming the immediate area until they break through the skin and emerge into the…..”
“Ow. Why do you keep doing that,” Kris asked. Emily had smacked him again on his back where his zit had been swelling.
“Let’s go,” Emily said, pulling his attention away from the television.

The following takes place
Between 4:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m.
“That was difficult,” Kris said as he tried to balance the drinks and quesadillas for the kids on the food tray.
“Let’s just hope they didn’t put mushrooms on your Philly cheese steak.” Emily was carrying Kris’ sandwich and a French-dip. She was concentrating hard as the au jus sauce was sloshing around in its container which had no lid.
Kris was able to balance all his food on one hand as he dug in his pockets for the movie tickets for “Over the Hedge.” He handed them to the usher and they headed down the hallway toward theater number 24. They finally made it to their seats with only a couple of tortilla chips falling off the tray. Both Nicholas and Lexi scrambled on the floor after them and stuffed them in their mouths. After getting the kids situated with their quesadilla in one hand and a Sprite in the other, Kris and Emily were able to finally sit back and start eating their meal.
“This is quite nice eating a decent meal at the theater while watching the movie,” Emily said.
“Next time I’m going to try that enchilada combo,” Kris said. “Maybe when we come and see Nacho Libre.”
“What is that?”
“It’s the movie with Jack Black and the people who wrote Napoleon Dynamite,” Kris said as the house lights went down and the whir of the projector kicked into gear. “Wow, what timing. Here’s the preview for it.”

The following takes place
Between 5:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m.
The movie was approaching its halfway point when Kris noticed Lexi getting restless.
“I gotta go pee pee on the toilet,” Lexi said as she hopped off the chair.
“You know, this is when it would be better if she wasn’t potty trained,” Kris whispered to Emily. “Now I’m going miss part of the movie.”
“Do you want me to take her?”
“No, it’s alright. It gives me a chance to get a refill.” He grabbed Lexi’s hand and they headed out.

The following takes place
Between 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m.
“So did you guys like the movie,” Emily asked. They were pulling onto the street where they lived and had to avoid Ben and Angela’s trash can. It should have been put back in their garage the day before, but now the wind was blowing it across the street.
“Yes. It was so funny when the animals made messes in the house,” Nicholas said as he laughed.
“Funny,” Lexi repeated.
“I can’t wait to go to the big movies again and see Cars,” Nicholas said. “And then we can buy the Over the Hedge DVD.”
“We are going to have to wait awhile before it’s on DVD,” said Emily.
“It will be so cool,” Nicholas said as he started unbuckling his seatbelt.
“So cool,” repeated Lexi.

They pulled into the garage and Emily headed out to go plant her flowers. The kids followed her smiling because that meant they could play with the hose and spray each other. Kris headed upstairs to watch some World Cup soccer matches that he had recorded on Tivo.

The following takes place
Between 7:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m.
“I’m coming,” Kris yelled. He headed downstairs with some towels for the kids who were soaking wet after their water fight. They were both standing in the entryway in only their underwear and as soon as they saw their dad they ran towards him. “No. Stay there. You are going to get the carpet wet.”
Nicholas ignored him and kept running but Lexi tried to stop. Her feet slipped out from under her on the wet tile and she landed on her rear. She had started to cry as Kris lifted her into his arms to comfort her.
“What happened,” Emily asked as she came in through the garage door.
“She slipped and fell but she’s fine,” Kris said.
Emily finished drying off Nicholas then threw the towel down in the entryway to dry the floor. Kris sat Lexi down in her Dora the Explorer chair and went outside to pick up the wet clothes that were spread across the lawn. He threw the wet clothes and towels in the washing machine and Emily came back downstairs with some dry clothes. Of course this only meant underwear and a T-shirt because the kids didn’t like wearing pants or shorts in their house except when company came over, and that wasn’t even a guarantee. Once things were settled down the kids began to play and Emily headed upstairs to practice her violin and do the bills. Kris returned to the soccer matches.

The following takes place
Between 8:00 p.m. and 9:00 p.m.
“Guess what time it is,” Emily asked. She was standing on the staircase landing looking down at the kids. Nicholas had most of his Star Wars action figures laid out with the good guys on one side and the bad guys on the other. They were preparing for a war but Nicholas couldn’t figure out what side to put Anakin and the storm troopers.
“In episodes II and III they were good but they changed to the dark side at the end,” Nicholas mumbled. His eyebrows furrowed as he mentally considered the debate.
“Nicholas, guess what time it is,” Emily asked again.
“Bed time,” Lexi yelled as she grabbed her blanket and stomped through Nicholas’ battlefield. Her blanket dragged behind and wiped out most of the Jedi.
“Lexi,” Nicholas yelled. “You are ruining my fight.”
“Nicholas, come on,” Emily repeated.
“Oh barnacles,” Nicholas said. He grabbed his pillow, Darth Maul, and Obi Wan Kenobi and followed Lexi up the stairs.

After going through the routine of taking a bath, brushing teeth, and reading some books they were finally ready to get to bed.
“I want to say the prayer tonight,” said Nicholas.
“No Lexi,” yelled Lexi.
“O.K. Nicholas first, and then you,” Kris said to Lexi.
She frowned and said “Barnacles.” Kris grabbed her and sat her in his lap so she would hold somewhat still and Nicholas proceeded with his prayer. Tonight’s prayer was slightly lengthier as he had to bless each of the Jedi Knights so that they could win tomorrow’s fight against General Grievous, the Emperor, and Boba Fett. He also blessed his dad’s back and mom’s hair.

The following takes place
Between 9:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.
Now it was Lexi’s turn. When she was done Kris and Emily tossed them in bed and gave each of them a goodnight kiss and hug. Then, as per the requests of the kids, they had to give another goodnight kiss and hug.
“What are you doing now,” Kris asked Emily as they left the kid’s bedroom.
“I’m going to finish doing our bills.”
“And then play your computer game?”
Emily smiled. “Maybe. Are you going to go watch the Food Network?”
Now Kris smiled. “Of course, you know Good Eats is the best show on television.”
“Are you going to be asleep before I come to bed?”
“I am tired so maybe. But it also depends on how long you play your game.”

The television chattered as Kris climbed into bed. “The lobster is basically a giant cockroach. If you don’t have a problem killing a cockroach, you shouldn’t feel bad about killing a live lobster.”
“I’ve got to go buy some live lobsters. That would be a great Sunday dinner,” Kris thought as he started to dream about a huge lobster feast.
“….three, four, five. That’s it, the lobster is already dead and they didn’t feel a thing….”

Kris woke up as Emily was sitting on the bed trying to take a peek at his pimple.
“Let me take one more shot at this,” She said.
“Whatever.”
Emily started poking around again. The nail marks from earlier that day had faded. The pimple had now looked quite different than the night before. It appeared as if it was a small golf ball that was protruding out from Kris’ back. On the top it looked like a small crater had formed. Black and dark red colors had materialized around the edge of the crater and the center looked raw.
“Does this hurt,” Emily asked.
“It’s not bad, it’s just sore.”
Emily started scratching at the crater and a small circular piece of skin sloughed off. Tiny droplets of blood began appearing in the pores both inside the crater and immediately around it.
“Did that hurt?”
“No, I didn’t feel anything,” Kris said.
“I think it just popped,” Emily said almost quizzically. “I’m going to try and squeeze the junk out.”
Emily grabbed the washcloth which had been sitting on the nightstand since earlier that morning. She then started poking around the base of the lump. More blood was forming around the crater. She started to squeeze the lump and it immediately started to move from the inside. She pulled her hands back in shock as she saw what looked like hundreds of tiny dots moving around just under the layers of skin.
“Did you get it,” Kris asked.
Emily shrieked with horror and scrambled back falling off the edge of the bed.

The following takes place
Between 10:00 p.m. and 11:00 p.m.
The top of the lump had burst open as hundreds of tiny spiders with a slight tinge of blood red came pouring out through the crater. Kris was unaware of what was going on as he sat up to see what had happened to Emily.
“Are you all right,” he asked as he put his hand to his back to scratch the intense itching where he assumed there was now a popped pimple.
Emily scrambled to her feet. “Don’t touch it,” She screamed.
Kris had a bizarre feeling all over his hand and quickly pulled it around to see what was going on. Freshly hatched spiders were crawling over his fingers and dropping onto the bed sheets. Emily recoiled into the corner of the bedroom as Kris flailed his hand trying to shake the spiders off. He used his other hand in an attempt to smash the spiders on the bed. He jumped to his feet as shivers started to cover his body. At first he wasn’t sure if it was spiders crawling all over his body or hairs standing up on end. He looked at the bed where he was sitting and saw hundreds of spiders scrambling about the sheets. There were also small blood streaks where hundreds more had been smashed and smeared. Kris then peered over his shoulder and was barely able to catch a peek of where the lump had been. Now the lump was smaller as spiders continued to crawl out through the crater. Blood was dripping down his back and a dozen droplets had already hit the side of the bed and the floor. Dozens of spiders were crawling up his back. A few had crawled around his side and were creeping around his stomach. Others had fallen to the floor and were now crawling across his feet.

“….from the ocean floor to your plate. Now we have shown you that you don’t have to spend royal amounts of money at a restaurant to get a feast fit for a king….”
“That looks good,” Emily said as she entered into the room.
Kris quickly sat up. He glanced around at the bed and looked at his hands for any trace of spiders. His skin felt like they were still crawling all over him and a new set of shivers crept down his spine.
“Are you all right,” Emily asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. You just startled me when you came in because I was asleep.” Kris didn’t want her to know that he had just had a nightmare.
“I’m sorry. I thought you were awake because I heard you saying something,” Emily said. “You are sweating like crazy. Are you sure your feeling O.K.?
“Yes, I’m good.”
“That’s it. I’m turning the air conditioning on because this is ridiculous.” Emily went downstairs to flip the switch on the thermostat and the fans immediately started turning.

Emily was finally ready for bed and she threw the blankets and sheets to the foot of the bed because the air conditioning had yet to take any real affect.
“Do you need the alarm set, and if so what time,” Kris asked, knowing what the answer would be.
“Six o’clock.”
Kris rolled over to flip the switch on the alarm.
“Wow,” said Emily. “It looks like your pimple popped.”
“Really?”
“There is only a small red dot now.”
“Well, it looks like you can’t torture me anymore.”
“If you want, I can look for more zits.”
“No thanks,” Kris said and they both rolled over and were asleep within minutes.

The following takes place
Between 11:00 p.m. and midnight
It was nearly midnight when both Kris and Emily woke up at the same time. They grabbed the blankets that had been gathered at the foot of the bed. They pulled them up to their chins and looked at each other. They both said in unison, “Its freezing.”
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Copyright © 2006 by Hulahan Publishers
West Jordan, Utah 84084