Tour de Donut Recap

I raced the Tour de Donut bike race on Saturday. It was my first bike race (excluding triathlons) and it isn't technically a race, it's more of a fun ride. But there are plenty of people who take it completely serious, as was I. (see here)
Well, I arrived at the event with plenty of time to spare, in fact there were only a few other cars in the parkling lot. I went and got my bib number, a very cool participant tech-T and other stuff. Then I sat in my car and played Angry Birds for an hour, which was nice because they just came out with a new update.
Finally it was time to get ready. I figured since I wanted to compete for a good finish I would start right at the front. This would not only allow me to stay with the lead pack but also keep me out of trouble with the hundreds of other cyclists at the start line. Five minutes before the start I had plenty of room...Five seconds before the start, my room had decreaased. I am in the bright orange jersey on the left of the picture.


Thanks to http://www.picturememine.com/ for the photo.

I had my right foot clipped into my pedal and started to roll down the street but the guy in front of me cut hard and his back wheel went right into my front wheel. I knew I was going down and there was nothing I could do because my foot was clipped in. UNBELIEVABLE...I crashed in the first 5 feet. Gratefully I wasn't going fast...

Not so greatful that my moment was captured by a camera...

And a close up...That is me sideways on the ground, I am supposed to be upright like everyone else.

Again...thanks alot http://www.picturememine.com/

I was finally able to get up as 5 year-olds on tricycles were flying past. With a bruised ego and bloody knee I pushed forward intent on catching up with the leaders. I was pushing hard dodging other cyclists and numerous potholes. I felt great and was finally able to see who I believe was the lead peleton. I knew that once i caught up I could catch my breath and draft off them. They were only about 10 yards in front as I rounded a corner content that I could finally relax and sit on their wheels for the rest of the 7-mile loop. And then...pffffffffffffsssssss. (That is the sound of air escaping and my tire going flat.) All that work for nothing. I pulled off and spent the next 6 minutes changing my tire. There were plenty of people who asked if I needed help or if I had everything to take care of the flat. I did, and eventually I was back on the road. I headed into the first donut eating staging area. As a recap, for each donut I ate, it would take 3 minutes off my total time. I ate my first 4 donuts pretty quick with a strategy of giant bite and small swig of water. While on the fifth donut I kept wanting to get back out on the course to see if I could catch up with some of the leaders, so I ate 5 and took off with every intent to eat a ton more on the next pit stop.
The second lap was better because I didn't crash or get a flat but i couldn't tell who was on their first lap or second, and I know I didn't catch up to the leaders. I pulled into the second donut eating stage, took one bite of donut 6 and felt absolutely sick. I struggled with it and gave in with a total of 6 donuts...I don't know how people could eat that much more. The winner ended up eating 25.
I left and finished my third lap with a Tour de France winner pose...no hands with arms stretched wide.

In the end I was 9th place in the 35 and older division which isn't bad considereing my problems. Next year I am gunning for a top 3. And I only partially threw up on the car ride home.
Note to self: Lots of donuts with water makes you need to burp, but be cautious because those burps are loaded with wet donut chunks.

Tour de Donut = Pukefest = Awesome

This is going to be awesome. It is a 21-mile bike race which consists of three 7-mile loops. In between the loops we will have 2 opportunities to stuff as many donuts into our mouths as possible. For each donut we eat, it drops 3 minutes off our total time. They say the winner typically has a negative time...so for me to win I need to have a total adjusted time of at least 0:00.

So...let's assume that I average 20 mph (which is probably a little ambitious with the amount of donuts that will be in my gut). My Bike time will be 1:03:00. I will then need to eat the right amount of donuts to not only cancel out that time, but also the time it takes to eat said donuts. So eating 21 donuts at 20 seconds per donut would cancel out the 1:03:00 but add 7 minutes for donut eating time...so i would need to eat 3 more donuts to cancel out donut eating time which would then put me in the negative time range. That was probably hard to follow...so...

So my calculations are as follows:

Key
Blue = positive time

Red = negative time

1:03:00 - Bike Time

1:03:00 - time taken off for eating 21 donuts

_______________________________

0:00:00 - adjusted time...but wait

0:07:00 - Time it takes to eat 21 donuts at 20 seconds per donut

0:09:00 - time taken off for eating 3 donuts

_______________________________

0:02:00 - Adjusted time...but wait

0:01:00 - Time it takes to eat 3 donutes at 20 seconds per donut

_______________________________

0:01:00 - Total Adjusted Time

So I have to eat 24 donuts according to this plan. What strategy do I take? Do I eat 12 donuts at each donut eating opportunity, or do I eat as much as possible during the first stop risking a slower bike time due to me having to stop and puke? I'll have to take more time pondering this while munching on a maple bar.